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August 27th, 2009
I am still in the hospital. Since, I spent the most of the day sleeping, I cannot get to sleep now. I felt awful all day, so weak! I hardly could get out of bed, and when I did, I felt terrible, shivery, weak and dizzy. I popped to the hospital shop to get a drink in the afternoon, and afterwards I was absolutely pooped; I could not take the stairs back up to the 2nd floor; I had to take the lift. I used to be so fit…. Now, I am like a ninety-year-old woman! Apparently, this is quite normal after the second cycle of chemo, to feel rubbish on the week two. I have to say, I do not like it. It is really upsetting to feel this ill, and not able to do anything.
I saw my PET scan today, a 3D picture of it. And boy, the mass in my chest is, sorry was, HUGE! No wonder I had difficulty breathing, the mass took most of the space in my upper left lung. Also, at the time, the scan showed I had excessive fluid in my pleural cavity (area outside the lungs), which would have also made breathing somewhat difficult. I have another PET scan next week. I hope the mass has shrunk considerably. I know the cancer has got massively smaller in my neck, as it has visibly shrunk and I can hardly feel the nodes. So, the chemo must be working, and all this suffering is not for nothing. I have to remind myself that I am lucky to have non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, as it is one of the most treatable cancers out there. Things could be a lot worse.
Minna came to see me at the hospital today, and she showed her Green Man festival photos. I have been going to the Green Man every year since it started, except the very first one, and I absolutely love the festival. Every year my ‘Green Man family’ go there, we camp and spend a lovely weekend together. As this year I was unable to go, one of my friends, Andy brought this cute bunny that apparently looked like me. This soft toy bunny became ‘little Piia’. According to Minna’s photos, little Piia had an excellent time mingling with the stars and some cute boys, hanging with the ‘family, and watching bands back stage!! My favourite picture has to be the one with Jarvis Cocker! Absolutely love it. I can already feel that next year’s Green Man will be something special, and I am already looking forward to it!