Piia Pauliina
  • Inconclusive news

    September 30th, 2010

    I was so nervous all morning waiting for the phone call to find out about the PET scan results. As the morning went by and I was getting ready to go out for lunch with Suzie near the Tower Bridge by the river I realised whatever the results are, it is never going to be over. Even if the cancer is totally gone, I will still have live with it for the rest of my life, as there are no certainties that it will never come back.

    I got on a bus to London Bridge and as I was crossing the bridge my phone went. It was Lucy asking if it was a good time to talk. I said could she call me back in two minutes, as I was just about to get off the bus. She said that was OK. I got a feeling that it was not going to be all good news…

    Lucy called me back as I was walking along the river on my way to Suzie’s work. The sun was shining and it was very pretty and quiet by the river. I thought, at least I am in a peaceful environment when I receive the news.

    Lucy started to tell me how they had reviewed my scan at the multi-disciplinary meeting this morning, and that the scan showed that where the cancer used to be at the mediastinum area in my chest, it was completely gone. However, the scan showed one small area of some kind of activity in my left upper lobe of my lungs, size about one centimetre. When I heard this, I almost started to hyperventilate. I was happy it was sunny and I was wearing sunglasses, as I did not want people to see me crying.

    Lucy said they do not know if this small active area is lymphoma, it could also be chest infection. Therefore, the plan is for me to have a biopsy next week to confirm exactly what it is. The biopsy is done under local anaesthetic and as the lungs are involved, I may have to stay one night in the hospital, just for observation.

    The other news is I will need to have some radiotherapy. This is going to happen regardless of the biopsy results to either make sure the cancer does not come back or to treat this small area of possible lymphoma. At this stage I will not have chemo even if it is lymphoma; radiotherapy is their choice of treatment for now.

    So there you go. I suppose the news were inconclusive. I need more tests and I simply have to wait a bit longer until I will know for sure if I still have ‘active’ cancer or not.

    I had a lovely lunch with Suzie in the end, and do not feel like crying anymore.

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