Piia Pauliina
  • Emotionally handicapped

    November 30th, 2010

    The radiotherapy treatment is over and done with. It all went according to the master plan. However, since it finished I have had an annoying persistent cold. I have been feeling a little feverish in the last couple of days. It does not help that London is freezing. It even snowed today?! I am determined to get well, so I am doing nothing but rest. Which is so boring, but I want to get well for all these lovely events ahead of me. There is my birthday next week, and also next week is when we are off to Minehead for the ATP festival. And, pretty soon after ATP I am flying to Finland.

    I am feeling the post radiotherapy fatigue. I do not think I have given the treatment enough credit, as it felt so easy at the time. What is the most noticeable is the emotional fatigue (?linked to physical fatigue). Apparently, this is pretty normal. The way it manifests in me is that my emotions are not quite how they should be. Things that should make me feel happy, I feel almost numb about them. And certain, small things make me more upset than they should. It is like my emotions are overshooting and undershooting at wrong times. They say this will get better. It probably does not help the matter that I am feeling ill as well, which is making me feel even more tired, and emotionally handicapped.

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