It is day +7 morning.  The white blood cell counts dropped down to zero on day + 4, and they have been zero since.  Also, by day + 5, my haemoglobin was down to 8.2.  I was given two bags of blood for that.  And, yesterday I needed a bag of platelets, as they were excessively low too.

The biggest problem I have had is the mouth ulcers, mucositis.  My throat was the first area to ‘go’, and now it has spread into my mouth and further down in my throat.  Morphine was my choice of a painkiller, and I was given a morphine pump with addition of a choice of oral morphine as and when needed.  Well, I needed the oral morph ALL the time, as the pain was still ‘the worst I had ever felt’.  The pain was not going anywhere with the pump alone.

To no surprise, one nurse noticed that the pump was not delivering much morphine at all.  It was a laborious process of dealing with doctors and nurses, but I am getting a higher dose of morphine through the pump, and intravenous morphine (stronger than oral morphine) as and when I need.  Which again, is often.  I am hoping to see the pain management team, as they know about the pain!

Also, I spiked up the temperature yesterday, and the blood cultures showed I am brewing an infection in my blood somewhere.  Hopefully, I will find out more about this today, and will get the right type of antibiotics.  However, I am getting antibiotics that cover a whole range of infections, so I might already be covered.

A woman next to me has got a chest infection and she is coughing all the time.  I hope I will not get her bug! (I have the curtains between our beds closed all the time thinking that might help …. maybe, psychologically it does….)

I have to boast a little.  When my temperature was high, my little body managed to reduce the core temperature back to normal just by its self, no paracetamol needed.  It is AMAZING what our bodies can do, even with no white blood cells!

Back to the pain.  So, I can just about to swallow now.  I am only really able to drink/eat ice-cold lollies and icy water made out of special nutritional drinks with minerals and vitamins.  I simply live on these drinks.  I still suffer from nausea and diarrhoea.

I am actually surprised.  Apart from everything that I have mentioned above, I think I am doing well.  I find it fascinating how the body can cope with very little blood cells.  How is it possible?  Yet, somehow it is.  Our bodies are BRILLIANT.

Even though I am in pain, and have these horrid ulcers, I feel happy.  This pain is only going to last a couple more days, and then I will recover.  And, I will have a whole ulcer-free life ahead of me.

The last two days I have been far too ill/in pain/drowsy to have guests, and I have had to cancel my lovely visitors.  And, I cannot speak much thanks to my mouth ulcers, and the pain.  Sorry for anyone I have not rang back to.  I will, once I have a bit more energy, and the pain is reduced a little.  In the mean time, please read the blog!  Lots of love to you all.  Miss you!